Strands C and D: Self-Regulation and Well-Being; Belonging and Contributing · Me, My Feelings and My CommunityStanding Up for Myself and Others
D21.1 D21.2 D21.3 C14.1About 20 minutes
Learning goals- I can use a strong, calm voice to stand up for myself.
- I can tell if something is fair or unfair.
- I can use a kind action to help make things fair.
- I can tell when someone is treated unfairly because of who they are, and I know what to do.
Words to know
stand up for yourself
Use your strong voice and body to say what you need, or what you don't like.
strong voice
A clear, calm voice. Not a tiny whisper and not a yell.
fair
Everyone follows the same rules and everyone gets a chance.
unfair
Someone is left out, doesn't get a chance, or the rules are broken.
discrimination
Treating someone unfairly because of who they are, like their skin colour, language, religion, body or family.
upstander
Someone who helps when they see something unfair or unkind.
Mouse, monster or me?
Grown-up, read this part out loud.
Let's play a voice game! Say "It's my turn" in a tiny mouse voice. 🐭 (squeak!)
Now say it in a big, roaring monster voice. 🐲 (ROAR!)
Now say it in your me voice. Stand tall, look at me, and say it clearly and calmly. 🙂
Which voice do you think works best?
Standing up for myself
The me voice is your strong voice. A mouse voice is too quiet, so people might not listen. A monster voice is too loud and scary, and it can start a fight.
To use your strong voice:
- Stand tall with your shoulders back.
- Look at the person.
- Say what you need in a clear, calm voice.
Here are some strong-voice words:
- "Stop. I don't like that."
- "I'm still using it. You can have it when I'm done."
- "It's my turn next."
- "Please call me by my name. My name is ___."
- "I don't want to play that game. Let's play something else."
If the person does not stop, walk away and tell a grown-up. That is standing up for yourself too.
| Voice | Looks and sounds like | Does it work? |
|---|
| 🐭 Mouse | A tiny whisper, looking at the floor | Not really. People may not hear you. |
| 🐲 Monster | Yelling, stomping, a mean face | No. It can scare people or start a fight. |
| 🙂 Me | Standing tall, looking at the person, a clear and calm voice | Yes! This is your strong voice. |
Fair and unfair
Something is fair when everyone follows the same rules and everyone gets a chance.
Something is unfair when someone is left out, doesn't get a turn, or the rules are broken.
- Everyone waits in line for the slide. → fair 😀
- Someone cuts to the front of the line. → unfair 😟
- Each child gets 2 crackers at snack time. → fair 😀
- One child takes all the red blocks so nobody else can use them. → unfair 😟
- A friend changes the rules of the game so they always win. → unfair 😟
Kindness helps make things fair
When something is unfair, a kind action can help fix it.
- Give a turn to someone who hasn't had one yet.
- Share the blocks so everyone can build.
- Invite someone who is left out: "Come play with us!"
- If you were unfair, say sorry and try again. Everybody makes mistakes.
When unfair is about who someone is
Sometimes a person is left out or teased because of who they are: the colour of their skin, the language they speak, their religion, their body, how they learn, or their family.
That kind of unfair has a name. It is called discrimination. Discrimination is never okay. Nobody should be treated unkindly because of who they are.
What can you do? Be an upstander:
- Speak up in your strong voice: "That's not fair. Everyone can play."
- Be a friend to the person: "Come play with me." or "Are you okay?"
- Tell a grown-up, like your teacher or early childhood educator.
If it happens to you, use your strong voice, walk away, and tell a grown-up. It is not your fault.
Telling is helping
Telling a grown-up when someone is being hurt, left out or treated unfairly is not tattling. It is helping.
Grown-ups want to know, so they can help make things fair and safe.
Worked exampleLet's be an upstander
When Kai's grandma drops him off at school, they say goodbye in Cantonese. Later, two children copy Kai's words in a silly voice and laugh. One says, "Talk normal!" Kai looks down. His face is sad. What is happening, and what can we do?
- Look: Kai's face is sad. The children are laughing at Kai, not with him.
- Think: Why are they laughing? Because Kai speaks another language. That is about who Kai is.
- Decide: That is unfair. It is discrimination, and it is not okay. Speaking Cantonese is a wonderful thing. Kai can speak two languages!
- Speak up: "Stop. That's not kind. Kai's words are not silly."
- Be a friend: "Kai, can you teach me how to say hello in Cantonese?"
- Tell: If the teasing keeps happening, tell the teacher.
Teasing Kai because of his language is unfair, and it is called discrimination. An upstander speaks up, is a friend, and tells a grown-up.
Just for funFunny but true: real mice really do talk in squeaks, and many of their squeaks are so high that people can’t hear them at all! 🐭 That’s one more reason a mouse voice doesn’t work for people.
Hands-on activityStrong voice puppet show
You need: two socks (for sock puppets) or two stuffed animals.
- Grown-up, use one puppet to do something unfair to the other puppet: grab its toy, cut in front of it in line, or say "You can't play because you're too small."
- Child, use the other puppet to answer in a mouse voice. Then try a monster voice. Then try the strong me voice. Which one worked best?
- Switch puppets and try a new problem.
- Upstander show: One puppet is left out of a game. Child, use a third toy to be the upstander: speak up, be a friend, and "tell" the grown-up.
Talk about it: "How did the left-out puppet feel? How did it feel when someone helped?"
Your turn
1Show me your strong me voice saying: "Stop. I don't like that."
Look for: standing tall, looking at the person, and a clear, calm voice. Not a whisper and not a yell.
2Someone grabs the puzzle you are still doing. What can you say?
"I'm still using it. You can have it when I'm done." If they don't give it back, tell a grown-up.
3Everyone waits in line for the drinking fountain. Is that fair or unfair?
Fair. Everyone follows the same rule and everyone gets a turn.
4A child takes all the crayons and won't share. Fair or unfair? What kind action could fix it?
Unfair. A kind fix: share the crayons so everyone can colour, for example by putting them in the middle of the table.
5Someone says, "You can't play with us because your skin is brown." Is that okay?
No. That is discrimination, treating someone unfairly because of who they are. Everyone can play. Speak up, be a friend, and tell a grown-up.
6What does an upstander do?
An upstander speaks up, is a friend to the person, and tells a grown-up.
More practice: warm-up
1Say "It's my turn" in a tiny mouse voice. 🐭
Look for: a tiny, quiet voice. Then ask: "Would people hear that?" (Probably not!)
2Now say "It's my turn" in your strong me voice.
Look for: standing tall, looking at you, and a clear, calm voice.
3Fair or unfair? Everyone gets 2 crackers.
4Fair or unfair? Someone cuts to the front of the line.
Unfair. 😟 The others were waiting their turn.
5Show me how you stand tall.
Look for: head up, shoulders back, feet steady on the floor.
More practice: on your own
1A friend keeps calling you "Baby" and you don't like it. What can you say?
"Please call me by my name. My name is ___." If it keeps happening, walk away and tell a grown-up.
2Your friend changes the rules of tag so she is never "it". Fair or unfair? Why?
Unfair, because the rules should be the same for everyone.
3A boy at your table has rice and seaweed for lunch. Someone says, "Ew, gross!" What can you say?
Something kind, like "That's not kind. Everyone eats different foods." or "What's it called?" Teasing someone about their family's food is unfair.
4Is telling a grown-up that someone is being left out the same as tattling?
No. Telling a grown-up so you can help someone is the right thing to do.
5Why is a monster voice not the best way to stand up for yourself?
A monster voice can scare people or start a fight. A strong, calm me voice works better, and people listen to it.
Challenge
1You have been playing with all the blocks for a long time, and a friend is waiting. Is it fair to keep them all? What could you do?
No, it isn't fair. You could share some blocks or give your friend a turn. Being fair means noticing when you need to share, too.
2A girl uses a wheelchair. Some children say she can't play tag. What do you think? What could you do?
That's not fair. Leaving her out because she uses a wheelchair is discrimination. Ask her how she likes to play (many people who use wheelchairs play tag!), or choose a game everyone can play together. Look for an answer that includes her.
3Someone is mean to you because of your family. Tell me how you could stand up for yourself.
Use your strong voice ("Stop. That's not okay."), walk away, and tell a grown-up. It is not your fault, and every family is a real family.
Quiz
1. Which one is the strong me voice?
2. Someone cuts to the front of the line. That is...
3. Leaving someone out because of their skin colour or their language is called...
4. What does an upstander do?
5. One child has all the blocks. Which kind action helps make it fair?
Big idea: Children learn to stand up for themselves with a calm, confident voice (D21.1), to tell fair from unfair and use kindness to make things fair (D21.2), and to recognize discrimination and respond to it (D21.3). Body language and tone of voice (C14.1) are a big part of being heard.
How to help at home:
- Play "mouse, monster or me" often, with small everyday lines: "It's my turn," "I'm still using it," "Please stop."
- Use the words fair and unfair in daily life, and ask "Did everyone follow the same rules? Did everyone get a chance?"
- Name discrimination simply when it comes up in books or life: "They left her out because of the colour of her skin. That's called discrimination, and it's not okay." Children this age notice differences; talking openly helps them learn respect.
- Model being an upstander, and praise it when you see your child do it.
Common difficulties:
- Everything is "not fair!" when they don't get their way. Help them sort it out: "You don't like it, I know. Was it unfair? Did everyone get the same chance?"
- Uses a monster voice. Practise when calm, and model the strong, calm voice yourself.
- Too shy to speak up. Puppets and stuffed animals make practice feel safe. Remind them that walking away and telling a grown-up is also standing up for yourself.
- Worried about tattling. Use the rule: "If someone is hurt, unsafe or treated unfairly, telling is helping."
If your child tells you they were treated unfairly because of who they are, listen, believe them, comfort them, and let their educator know.