Strands C and D: Self-Regulation and Well-Being; Belonging and Contributing · Me, My Feelings and My Community

Making and Keeping Friends

C14.1 C14.2 C14.3 C14.4About 20 minutes

Learning goals

I can say kind words to other people.
I can take turns.
I can show ways to make a friend and keep a friend.
I can try different ways to solve a problem with a friend.

Words to know

friend
Someone you like to play with, who is kind to you.

take turns
First one person has a go, then the next person has a go.

share
Let someone else use or have some of what you have.

compliment
Kind words about someone, like "I like your drawing!"

listen
Use your ears, eyes and quiet body to hear what someone says.

Who is your friend?

Grown-up, read this part out loud.

Think about a friend. It could be a friend from school, a cousin, a neighbour, or someone in your family.

What do you like to do together? Friends make playing more fun!

How to make a friend

Smile and look at the person.
Say hi. "Hi! My name is ___."
Ask to play. "Do you want to play with me?" or "Can I play too?"

If they say "not right now", that is okay. You can ask someone else, or ask again later.

Three steps to make a friend: smile, say hi, and ask to play.

How to keep a friend

Take turns. "You go first, then me."
Share. "You can use the blue crayon."
Use kind words. Say please, thank you, and nice things.
Listen when your friend talks.
Use a gentle voice. How you say it matters, too!

Friendly 😀	Not friendly 😟
"Can I play too?"	Grabbing a toy
"I like your tower!"	"Your tower is ugly."
Waiting for my turn	Pushing to go first
Looking at my friend when they talk	Walking away when they talk

Friendly things help friends feel happy. Not friendly things hurt feelings.

Your body talks too

We don't only talk with words. Our face and body talk too.

A smile, a wave or a thumbs up 👍 says "I'm friendly!"

A gentle voice sounds kind. A loud, grumpy voice can sound mean, even with nice words.

Worked example

Let's solve a friend problem

Leo and Nia both want the red fire truck 🚒. They both grab it! What can they do?

Stop. Let go and take a breath.
Talk. Leo says, "I want the truck." Nia says, "I want it too."
Think of ideas. Take turns? Play with it together? Find another truck?
Try one idea. They try taking turns. Leo plays while they count to 20. Then it's Nia's turn.
Did it work? If not, try another idea, or ask a grown-up to help.

Leo and Nia took turns. When one idea doesn't work, friends can try a different idea. That is how we solve problems.

Solving a friend problem: stop, talk, think of ideas, and try one. If it doesn’t work, go back and try a different idea.

Just for fun

Why do bananas never feel lonely?

They hang around in bunches! 🍌

Hands-on activity

Kind words ball game

You need: a soft ball or a rolled-up pair of socks.

Sit on the floor across from your grown-up.
Roll the ball to them. As you roll it, say something kind: "I like your smile!" or "You are a good helper!"
Now it's their turn to roll it back and say something kind to you.
Keep taking turns. Can you go back and forth 10 times?

Talk about it: "How did it feel when someone said something kind to you?"

Your turn

Pretend I am a new friend at the park. Show me how you would say hi and ask me to play.

Say a compliment to your grown-up.

Two children want to go down the slide at the same time. What can they do?

👍 Thumbs up

👎 Thumbs down

Which one tells a friend "good job" without words?

Your friend is telling you about their new puppy. Show me how you listen.

Say "Can I have a turn?" in a gentle voice. Now say it in a grumpy voice. Which one sounds friendly?

More practice: warm-up

Show me a friendly wave. 👋

What do you say when a friend gives you something?

What magic word do you say when you ask for something?

Tell me the name of one friend.

🧸 Share or 🙅 Grab?

Which one is friendly?

More practice: on your own

Mia asks to play. Ava says, "Not right now, I'm finishing my puzzle." What can Mia do?

You and your brother both want the last cookie. Think of two ideas to solve the problem.

Your friend falls down at the park. What can you say or do?

Is pushing to the front of the line friendly or not friendly? Why?

Play a short game with your grown-up and say "Your turn!" each time you finish your turn.

Challenge

You tried to share the swing by both sitting on it. It didn't work. What could you try next?

A new child at your school doesn't know anyone. What could you do to help them feel welcome?

You and a friend had a fight and now you both feel sad. How can you be friends again?

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which words are friendly?

Two friends both want the same ball. What is a good idea?

Your friend shows you a picture they drew. What is a compliment?

How do you show you are listening?

One idea to solve a problem didn't work. What should you do?

For parents and teachers

Big idea: Friendship skills (greeting, taking turns, sharing, kind words, listening and solving small conflicts) are learned through practice, just like counting (C14.1 to C14.3). Trying one idea, then another, is an early social problem-solving strategy (C14.4).

How to help at home:

Play turn-taking games (board games, rolling a ball, building a tower one block each). Say "My turn, your turn" out loud.
Role-play with stuffed animals: "Teddy wants to play. What can he say?"
When a sibling conflict happens, coach the steps: stop, talk, think of ideas, try one. Let your child suggest the ideas first.
Point out tone of voice and body language: "Your words were kind, and your face looked kind too."

Common difficulties:

Sharing is hard. That's normal at this age. Use a timer or count to 20 so turns feel fair. Let your child put away one or two very special toys before friends come over.
Gets upset when told "not now". Practise with role-play so it feels less surprising.
Grabs instead of asking. Calmly hand the toy back and give the words: "Say: Can I have a turn when you're done?"