D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

Who I Am: Gender Identity, Gender Expression and Sexual Orientation

D1.5 A1.5 A1.2About 45 minutes

Learning goals

I can explain the difference between gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation.
I can use respectful, accurate terms.
I can identify factors that help people of all identities and orientations develop a positive self-concept.

Words to know

sex assigned at birth
The label (usually female or male) given to a baby at birth, based on their body. Some people are intersex: born with natural variations in sex characteristics.

gender identity
A person's internal sense of being a girl or woman, a boy or man, both, neither, or somewhere along the gender spectrum. Only the person themselves can know it.

gender expression
How a person shows gender to others, through things like clothing, hairstyle, voice, name and pronouns.

sexual orientation
A person's pattern of romantic and/or sexual attraction to others (or lack of attraction).

cisgender / transgender / non-binary
Cisgender: gender identity matches the sex assigned at birth. Transgender: it does not. Non-binary: a gender identity that is not only girl or only boy.

Two-Spirit
A term used by some First Nations and other Indigenous people for people with diverse gender identities or sexual orientations; its meaning is rooted in each Nation's own cultures and teachings.

self-concept
The way a person sees and thinks about themselves.

A note before you start

This lesson is part of Ontario's human development and sexual health learning for Grade 8. Some families choose to teach these topics at home in their own way. Read it with your grown-up, and remember: any question you have is a good question to ask a trusted adult.

Four different things

People often mix up gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation, as if they were one thing. They're separate parts of who a person is.

The Grade 8 curriculum asks you to demonstrate an understanding of gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation, and identify factors that can help individuals of all identities and orientations develop a positive self-concept.

Remember from Grade 7

In Grade 7 you met the words cisgender, transgender, non-binary, heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual and Two-Spirit, and learned that everyone deserves respect. This year you'll look at how the parts fit together and what helps every person feel good about who they are.

Sex assigned at birth, gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation are separate parts of a person.

Part	Question it answers	Examples
Sex assigned at birth	What label was given at birth, based on the body?	Female, male; some people are intersex
Gender identity	Who do I know myself to be inside?	Girl or woman, boy or man, non-binary; cisgender or transgender; Two-Spirit (for some Indigenous people)
Gender expression	How do I show my gender?	Clothes, hair, voice, name, pronouns (she/her, he/him, they/them)
Sexual orientation	Who am I attracted to, if anyone?	Heterosexual (straight), gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual (little or no sexual attraction); some people are questioning

Separate parts of identity.

Key ideas

You can't tell someone's gender identity or sexual orientation by looking at them or by how they dress.
A person's gender expression doesn't tell you their sexual orientation. A boy who likes dance and nail polish might be straight or gay; it's just his expression.
Some people know their identity early; others take time, and questioning is normal.
It's always the person's own choice whether and when to share their identity. Sharing someone else's identity without permission ("outing" them) can put them at risk and is never okay.
In Ontario, the Human Rights Code protects people from discrimination and harassment because of gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation, and under the Accepting Schools Act schools must support students who want to start clubs like a Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA).

What helps everyone build a positive self-concept

Every young person is working out who they are. Things that help people of all identities and orientations feel good about themselves:

Acceptance from family: one of the strongest protective factors for young people's mental health.
Supportive friends who use a person's chosen name and pronouns.
Safe, inclusive schools: clear rules against harassment, GSAs, teachers who step in.
Seeing yourself represented in books, shows, sports and history.
Role models and community: community groups, cultural communities, Elders and Knowledge Keepers, faith communities that welcome everyone.
Accurate information from trusted sources.
Coping skills and self-talk that focus on strengths.

Things that hurt self-concept: bullying, slurs, rejection, stereotypes, and feeling you have to hide.

Worked example

Let's sort the parts

Read about Jesse: "Jesse was assigned female at birth. Jesse knows he is a boy and uses he/him. He wears his hair short and likes skateboarding. He has a crush on a girl in his class." Identify each part.

Sex assigned at birth: female.
Gender identity: boy. Because it's different from the sex assigned at birth, Jesse is transgender.
Gender expression: short hair, he/him pronouns, the name Jesse. (Skateboarding is a hobby; anyone can enjoy it.)
Sexual orientation: attracted to a girl. As a boy attracted to a girl, Jesse is likely heterosexual, but only Jesse can name his orientation.

Each part is separate. Respect means using Jesse's name and pronouns and letting Jesse describe himself.

Worked example

Let's support a friend

Your friend Mei tells you privately she thinks she might be bisexual and is scared to tell anyone else.

Listen and thank her for trusting you.
Respect privacy: don't tell others; it's her choice when to share.
Reassure: "You're still you. I'm glad you told me."
Offer support: mention a GSA or a trusted adult, or Kids Help Phone if she wants to talk to someone else.

A supportive response: listen, keep it private, reassure, and offer support without pressure.

Four steps when a friend shares something personal about who they are: listen, keep it private, reassure, offer support.

Hands-on activity

Representation check

You need: your bookshelf, streaming lists or school library list, and paper.

With your grown-up, list 10 books, shows or movies you've enjoyed.
For each, note: Who are the main characters? Are there characters of different genders, cultures, abilities, family types and identities?
Talk: Who is often missing? How might it feel never to see someone like you?
Write one sentence about why representation helps a positive self-concept.

What to look for: thoughtful noticing and empathy. This builds identity and sense of self (A1.5).

Your turn

What is the difference between gender identity and gender expression?

What is sexual orientation?

Can you tell someone's sexual orientation by how they dress?

What does cisgender mean?

Name three factors that help people of all identities develop a positive self-concept.

Why is "outing" someone harmful?

More practice: warm-up

Which part is it: pronouns.

Which part is it: being attracted to people of the same gender.

What is a GSA?

True or false: questioning your identity is normal.

Which Ontario law protects people from discrimination because of gender identity?

More practice: on your own

A classmate says, "He wears pink, so he must be gay." Explain the mistake.

Explain why family acceptance matters so much.

What does the term Two-Spirit mean, and who uses it?

A new student asks the class to use they/them pronouns. Give two respectful responses.

How can representation in media support a positive self-concept?

Challenge

Explain why sex assigned at birth, gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation are described as separate. Use one example.

Design two actions a Grade 8 class could take to make school more inclusive for students of all identities and orientations.

Explain how bullying based on gender identity or sexual orientation could affect a student's self-concept, and what supports could protect it.

Check your understanding

Quiz

Gender identity is...

Which is an example of gender expression?

Which statement is true?

What is a strong protective factor for young people's self-concept?

Under the Accepting Schools Act, Ontario schools must...

A friend comes out to you privately. What should you do?

For parents and teachers

About this content: This lesson is part of Ontario's human development and sexual health expectations for Grade 8 (D1.5). In Ontario, parents may request that their child be exempted (opted out) of human development and sexual health instruction at school; ask your school about its process. If your family has opted out, you may skip this lesson at home too, or teach the topic in your own way and in line with your family's values. The lesson follows the Grade 8 curriculum wording, uses correct terms, and stays factual. It does not describe how to do sexual activities.

Big idea: This lesson covers the Grade 8 expectation to demonstrate an understanding of gender identity (e.g., male, female, Two-Spirit, transgender), gender expression, and sexual orientation (e.g., heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual), and identify factors that can help individuals of all identities and orientations develop a positive self-concept (D1.5). It builds identity and sense of self (A1.5) and coping (A1.2).

How to help at home:

Use the four-box diagram to talk about the differences.
Share your family's values, and make sure your child knows they are loved and can talk to you.
If your child or a friend is questioning, listen first. Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868) is available 24/7.

Common difficulties: mixing up expression and orientation; believing identity is visible; asking intrusive questions. Families hold a range of beliefs; the curriculum's focus is accurate understanding and respect for everyone's dignity and safety.