D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

Thinking It Through: Decisions About Sexual Activity and Where to Get Support

D1.4 A1.1 A1.2 A1.5About 45 minutes

Learning goals

I can identify and explain factors that can affect an individual's decisions about sexual activity.
I can identify reliable sources of support regarding sexual health.
I can use a decision-making model to think through a situation.

Words to know

factor
Something that influences a decision.

values
The beliefs and principles that matter most to a person, often shaped by family, culture and faith.

readiness
Being physically, emotionally and mentally prepared for a decision and its possible consequences.

peer pressure
Influence from people your age to do what they do or want.

confidential
Kept private. Many sexual health services are confidential.

reliable source
Information or support you can trust because it's accurate and from experts, such as a doctor or public health unit.

A note before you start

This lesson is part of Ontario's human development and sexual health learning for Grade 8. Some families choose to teach these topics at home in their own way. Read it with your grown-up, and remember: any question you have is a good question to ask a trusted adult.

Many voices, one decision

Friends, social media, movies, family, faith, feelings, a partner: lots of voices may try to influence decisions about sexual activity. The person deciding needs to sort through them.

The Grade 8 curriculum asks you to identify and explain factors that can affect an individual's decisions about sexual activity, and identify sources of support regarding sexual health.

Remember from Grade 7

In Grade 7 you looked at factors in sexual health decisions in general, including physical, emotional, social and cultural factors. This year you'll focus on decisions about sexual activity and on where to get reliable support.

Kind of factor	Examples
Personal values and goals	"I want to wait until I'm older / married / in a long-term relationship." Goals for school, sport or career
Family, cultural and religious beliefs	Teachings and expectations from family, culture or faith
Readiness and feelings	Feeling unsure, curious, nervous or excited; knowing your own boundaries
Relationship	How long, how trusting and how equal the relationship is; whether there is pressure or respect
Peers and media	Believing "everyone is doing it"; movies, music, social media and sexually explicit media that show unrealistic pictures
Alcohol and drugs	Impair judgment and make it harder to give or understand consent
Knowledge and access	Knowing about consent, contraception and STBBI prevention; access to health care
Laws	Canada's age of consent (16, with close-in-age exceptions for ages 12 to 15)
Possible consequences	STBBIs, pregnancy, emotions, reputation, effects on family and future plans

Factors that can affect decisions about sexual activity.

Myth check: "Everyone is doing it"

This is not true at Grade 8. Most young people your age have not had sexual intercourse. Thinking "everyone" is doing it is one of the strongest pressures, and it's based on a myth.

A decision-making model

Name the decision.
Gather information from reliable sources.
List the options.
Think about factors: values, feelings, risks, laws, effects on others.
Choose the option that fits your values and keeps you healthy and safe.
Act, and later reflect: was it right for me?

Strong emotions (A1.1) are normal. Pausing to notice them helps you make a decision you won't regret.

The six steps of the decision-making model. Reflecting afterward helps with the next decision.

Source of support	How it helps
Parents, caregivers, family members	Share values, listen, help find care
Doctor, nurse practitioner or nurse	Accurate health information and care; in Ontario, young people can often get confidential health care, and the provider decides whether the young person understands the treatment
Public health unit sexual health clinics	Free, confidential information, testing and contraception
School supports	Teachers, guidance counsellors, school nurses or social workers
Kids Help Phone	1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868, free, confidential, 24/7
Faith leaders, Elders, Knowledge Keepers	Guidance rooted in culture and faith
Reliable websites	For example, sexandu.ca from the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada, and your public health unit's website

Sources of support regarding sexual health.

A support circle: many reliable people and services around you. Draw your own with real names in the Support map activity.

How to tell if a source is reliable

Ask: Who made it (experts, health organizations)? Is it accurate and up to date? Is it trying to sell something or get clicks? Does it respect people and consent? Social media posts, rumours and sexually explicit media are not reliable sources about sexual health.

Worked example

Let's think a decision through

Kai (15) has been dating Jordan (15) for four months. Jordan wants to have sex. Kai cares about Jordan but feels nervous and remembers family teachings about waiting.

Name it: Should I have sex now?
Gather information: Kai could talk to a parent, the school nurse or a clinic about consent, STBBIs and pregnancy.
Options: wait; talk with Jordan about boundaries; end the relationship if pressured.
Factors: Kai's values and family teachings; Kai's feelings (nervous = not ready); risks; the relationship (does Jordan respect a no?).
Choose: wait, and tell Jordan honestly.
Reflect: if Jordan respects the decision, that's a healthy sign; if not, that's important information too.

Kai decides to wait, based on values and feelings, and to talk with Jordan. Gathering information and checking feelings led to a decision that fits Kai.

Hands-on activity

Support map

You need: paper, a pencil and your grown-up.

Draw yourself in the middle of the page.
Around you, write the names of three people you could talk to about sexual health questions (a parent or caregiver, a relative, a doctor, a school counsellor).
Add two services (for example, Kids Help Phone, your local public health unit's sexual health clinic). Look up your public health unit's phone number with your grown-up.
Add one reliable website.
Talk with your grown-up: Which source would you use for which kind of question?

What to look for: real names and services, and an understanding of what each offers. Knowing where to go builds coping skills (A1.2) and self-awareness (A1.5).

Your turn

Name four factors that can affect decisions about sexual activity.

Is it true that "everyone" in Grade 8 is having sex?

How do alcohol and drugs affect decisions about sexual activity?

Name three sources of support regarding sexual health.

What does confidential mean?

What are the first two steps of the decision-making model?

More practice: warm-up

Is a social media rumour a reliable source?

What is the age of consent in Canada?

Name one free, confidential service for sexual health.

Is feeling nervous or unsure a sign of readiness?

Which factor is this: "My faith teaches me to wait until marriage."

More practice: on your own

Explain how media can affect decisions about sexual activity.

Why is a doctor or public health clinic a better source than a friend?

Give three questions to check if a website is reliable.

How could a person's goals affect their decision?

Why does it help to make decisions about boundaries before a situation happens?

Challenge

Two friends make different decisions: one decides to wait until marriage, the other until they're older and in a committed relationship. Explain how different factors could lead to these choices, and why both deserve respect.

Explain how a relationship with a big power difference (much older partner) affects decision-making, and connect it to the law.

Create a short script for asking a parent or doctor a sexual health question you feel shy about.

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which is a factor that can affect decisions about sexual activity?

Which is the most reliable source of sexual health information?

"Everyone in Grade 8 is having sex" is...

How do alcohol and drugs affect decisions?

What is the first step of the decision-making model in this lesson?

Kids Help Phone can be reached by...

For parents and teachers

About this content: This lesson is part of Ontario's human development and sexual health expectations for Grade 8 (D1.4). In Ontario, parents may request that their child be exempted (opted out) of human development and sexual health instruction at school; ask your school about its process. If your family has opted out, you may skip this lesson at home too, or teach the topic in your own way and in line with your family's values. The lesson follows the Grade 8 curriculum wording, uses correct terms, and stays factual. It does not describe how to do sexual activities.

Big idea: This lesson covers the Grade 8 expectation to identify and explain factors that can affect an individual's decisions about sexual activity, and identify sources of support regarding sexual health (D1.4). It builds emotional awareness (A1.1), coping (A1.2) and sense of self (A1.5).

Facts used: Age of consent information comes from the Department of Justice Canada. sexandu.ca is run by the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada.

How to help at home:

Share your family's, culture's or faith's values and explain the reasons behind them.
Tell your child which adults they can go to besides you, and that you'd rather they ask than guess.
Look up your local public health unit together.

Common difficulties: believing "everyone is doing it"; trusting social media as a source; not knowing that services are confidential.