D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

Growing Up, Growing Connections: Puberty and Changing Relationships

D3.3 A1.1 A1.4About 40 minutes

Learning goals

I can explain how the physical and emotional changes of puberty can affect relationships with family and peers.
I can describe how growing interest in intimate relationships can affect friendships and peer groups.
I can explain why sexual health knowledge matters more as people get older, and communicate respectfully about changing relationships.

Words to know

puberty
The time when the body changes from a child's body to an adult's body, caused by hormones.

physical maturation
The body growing and developing toward adulthood.

intimate relationship
A close romantic relationship between two people that can include deep feelings, trust and, for some people when they are older, physical closeness.

independence
Being able to make more of your own choices and take care of more things yourself.

peer
Someone around your own age, such as a classmate or teammate.

STBBIs
Sexually transmitted and blood-borne infections: infections that can be passed through sexual contact or through blood.

A note before you start

This lesson is part of Ontario's human development and sexual health learning for Grade 7. Some families choose to teach these topics at home in their own way. Read it with your grown-up, and remember: any question you have is a good question to ask a trusted adult.

Same people, new feelings

You've probably noticed: arguments with a parent come up more often, a friend group shifts, people start talking about who "likes" whom. These are normal parts of growing up. Puberty doesn't only change bodies. It changes relationships too.

The Grade 7 curriculum asks you to explain how the physical and emotional changes of puberty can affect your relationships with family and peers, and your sexual health.

Remember from Grades 5 and 6

In Grade 5 you learned how hormones cause the physical changes of puberty and how the reproductive system works. In Grade 6 you learned about physical, social and emotional changes in adolescence and how understanding them builds confidence and healthy relationships. This year you'll look more closely at how those changes affect your relationships.

Change	How it can affect family relationships	How it can affect peer relationships
Looking older (physical maturation)	Family may give more responsibility and freedom, or may worry more and set new rules	Others may treat you as older; some teens feel pressure to act older than they are
Wanting privacy and independence	More closed doors, wanting to make own choices; can lead to disagreements	Friends become more important; more time spent with peers and online
Stronger, quicker emotions	Moods can lead to conflict at home, or to wanting more support	Feelings get hurt more easily; friendships can feel intense
Growing interest in romantic or intimate relationships (or not yet, which is also normal)	Questions about family values and rules on dating; may feel awkward to talk about	Crushes, dating talk and rumours; friendships can change when someone starts dating; pressure to "go out"
Different timelines	Siblings or cousins may develop at different times	Comparing yourself; teasing about early or late development

How puberty can affect relationships.

A relationship web: puberty can change every connection around you, not just one.

Puberty and sexual health

As bodies mature, people may begin to feel attraction to others. Having these feelings is normal, and so is not having them yet. Feelings don't mean you have to act on them.

The curriculum also points out something important: if and when a person becomes sexually active, there is an increased risk of sexually transmitted and blood-borne infections (STBBIs) and of pregnancy. That's why learning accurate information before it's needed matters. You'll learn more about STBBIs and how they're prevented in a later lesson.

Talking with family about changing relationships

Choose a calm time, like a car ride or a walk, not in the middle of an argument.
Use "I" messages: "I feel frustrated when I can't hang out on weekends. Can we talk about what would make you comfortable?"
Listen to the reasons for family rules; ask questions.
Build trust by keeping agreements (being home on time, answering texts).
Find a trusted adult (relative, Elder, coach, school nurse) if a topic feels hard to bring up at home.

Worked example

Let's work through a family disagreement

Mia, 12, wants to go to the mall with friends without an adult. Her dad says no. Mia slams her door and says, "You treat me like a baby!"

Name the change: Mia wants more independence (a normal part of puberty). Her dad wants to keep her safe.
Name the feelings: Mia feels frustrated and embarrassed; her dad feels worried.
Calm down first, then use an "I" message: "I feel left out when my friends go without me. Could I go for two hours if I text you when I get there and when I leave?"
Find a middle ground: her dad might agree to a short trip with check-ins, then more freedom as trust builds.

Puberty brings a push for independence. Calm communication and building trust step by step usually work better than slamming doors.

Mia's path to more independence: each kept agreement is a step up the staircase of trust.

Worked example

Let's handle a friendship change

Jordan's best friend Sam started dating someone and now spends lunch with them. Jordan feels left out and a bit jealous.

Recognize the feeling: left out, jealous, maybe sad. These are normal feelings (A1.1).
Understand the change: growing interest in intimate relationships can change friend groups. It doesn't mean Sam doesn't care.
Communicate: "I miss hanging out. Can we plan something, just us, this weekend?"
Widen your circle: spend time with other friends or join a club.

Friendships often change at this age. Saying how you feel, respectfully, can keep a friendship strong.

Hands-on activity

Relationship web

You need: paper, a pencil, and some quiet time.

Write ME in the middle. Around it, write the people who matter to you: family members, friends, teammates, mentors.
Draw a line to each one. Next to each line, write one way that relationship has changed in the last year or two.
Circle one relationship you'd like to strengthen. Write one thing you could do or say this week.
Optional: share one change with your grown-up and ask them how their relationships changed when they were your age.

What to look for: honest changes, and one specific, respectful action.

Your turn

Give one way puberty can affect relationships with family.

Give one way puberty can affect relationships with peers.

Is it normal to have no interest in dating yet?

Why do disagreements with parents often increase in early adolescence?

What sexual health risks increase if and when a person becomes sexually active?

Write an "I" message to ask a parent for more independence.

More practice: warm-up

True or false: having feelings of attraction means you have to act on them.

True or false: everyone goes through puberty at the same time.

What does STBBIs stand for?

Name one calm time to talk to family about something hard.

Name one trusted adult outside your family you could talk to.

More practice: on your own

Explain how looking older can affect how others treat a young person, and one risk this creates.

Your friend starts dating and you feel left out. Give two healthy responses.

Why is it helpful to learn about sexual health before it's needed?

How can trust help a teen get more independence?

How can rumours about who likes whom hurt peer relationships?

Challenge

A 13-year-old's family has a cultural or religious rule about not dating until they are older. Their friends tease them about it. Explain how puberty, family and peers are all involved, and suggest a respectful response.

Explain the link between physical maturation, emotional changes and sexual health using one example.

Write a short plan for staying close to your family during the teen years.

Check your understanding

Quiz

Wanting more privacy and independence during puberty is...

Which is an example of puberty affecting peer relationships?

Is it normal not to be interested in dating in Grade 7?

If and when a person becomes sexually active, what risks increase?

What usually works best to get more independence from parents?

Having feelings of attraction means...

For parents and teachers

About this content: This lesson is part of Ontario's human development and sexual health expectations for Grade 7 (D1.3, D1.4, D1.5, D2.4 and D3.3). In Ontario, parents may request that their child be exempted (opted out) of human development and sexual health instruction at school; ask your school about its process. If your family has opted out, you may skip this lesson at home too, or teach the topic in your own way and in line with your family's values. The lesson follows the Grade 7 curriculum wording, uses correct terms, and stays factual. It does not describe how to do sexual activities.

Big idea: This lesson covers the Grade 7 expectation to explain how relationships with others (for example, family, peers) and sexual health may be affected by the physical and emotional changes associated with puberty (D3.3), including effects on family relationships, growing interest in intimate relationships, and the increased risk of STBBIs and/or pregnancy with the onset of sexual activity. It builds emotional skills (A1.1) and relationship skills (A1.4).

How to help at home:

Expect more push for independence and offer step-by-step freedom tied to trust.
Share your family's values about dating and relationships, and explain your reasons.
Keep the door open: "You can ask me anything, even awkward things."

Common difficulties: Children may feel they are "behind" or "ahead" of peers. Reassure them that timelines vary widely. If your child seems very withdrawn or conflict at home becomes intense, a school counsellor or family doctor can help.