D. Healthy Living · Healthy LivingWords and Actions Matter, In Person and Online
D3.2 A1.4 A1.5About 45 minutes
Learning goals- I can explain how actions, in person or online, affect feelings, self-concept, mental health and reputation.
- I can explain why homophobic and other hurtful comments cause harm.
- I can choose actions that build people up, including myself.
Words to know
self-concept
How a person sees and thinks about themselves.
reputation
What other people think about you, based on what you say and do.
digital footprint
The trail of information you leave online: posts, comments, likes, photos and messages.
homophobic
Showing dislike or disrespect toward people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or seen as different from what some people expect. Using "gay" as an insult is homophobic.
mental health
How we think, feel and cope. Everyone has mental health, just like everyone has physical health.
The toothpaste test
Imagine squeezing a whole tube of toothpaste onto a plate. Now try to put it back in the tube. Impossible, right? Words are like that. Once they're said or posted, you can't take them back. Today you'll explore how our actions, in person and online, can hurt or help, and how they affect us too.
Remember from Grade 4
You learned the types of bullying (physical, verbal, social, emotional and cyberbullying) and how to be an upstander. This year you'll look at all our actions, not just bullying, and how they affect four things: feelings, self-concept, mental health and reputation.
| Affected | Hurtful action | Supportive action |
|---|
| Feelings | Laughing at someone's mistake in front of the class | Saying "Good try! You'll get it next time." |
| Self-concept (how they see themselves) | Posting "You're so dumb" under someone's video | Commenting on something they did well |
| Mental health and emotional well-being | Leaving someone out of every group chat for weeks | Inviting them to join, and checking in |
| Reputation (what others think) | Spreading a rumour or sharing an embarrassing photo | Refusing to pass on rumours; standing up for them |
Hurtful comments about who people are
Some comments target who a person is: their culture, religion, skin colour, disability, body, family, or whether they are, or seem to be, gay, lesbian or bisexual. Using "gay" as an insult ("That's so gay") is homophobic. It tells people who are gay, or who have gay family members, that something about them is bad.
Comments like these can make people feel unsafe and ashamed of who they are. Even when someone says "I was just joking", the hurt is real. Every person deserves respect.
Our actions affect us, too
What you do also shapes your own self-concept and reputation:
- Being kind helps you feel good about who you are.
- Posting mean things can cause others to trust you less.
- A digital footprint can last a long time. Posts can be screenshotted and shared, even after you delete them.
Before you post or speak, use the THINK check: Is it True? Helpful? Inspiring? Necessary? Kind?
Just for funA kindness experiment to try at dinner: smile at someone and see how long they can keep a straight face. Smiles are surprisingly catching, and that's one thing you can share without a THINK check! 😄
Worked exampleLet's follow one post
Jordan posts a funny but unflattering photo of his classmate Ella eating lunch, with the caption "lol look at her." He doesn't ask her first.
- Ella's feelings: embarrassed, hurt, maybe angry.
- Ella's self-concept: she may start to feel bad about how she looks or eats.
- Ella's mental health: she might worry about who else has seen it and not want to go to school.
- Ella's reputation: others may laugh at her or share it further.
- Jordan's reputation: classmates may see him as unkind. Sharing someone's photo without permission is also non-consensual.
- What Jordan can do: delete it, apologize to Ella in person, and ask others to delete it. An adult can help if it has spread.
One post affected Ella in all four ways, and affected Jordan's reputation too. Asking first, or not posting at all, would have prevented the harm.
One post can affect a person's feelings, self-concept, mental health and reputation all at once.Worked exampleLet's be an upstander to a homophobic comment
During a game, a classmate misses a shot and another student says, "That was so gay."
- Notice: using "gay" as an insult is homophobic, even if it wasn't aimed at a gay person.
- If it's safe, speak up calmly: "Hey, don't use 'gay' as an insult. It's hurtful."
- Support: say something kind to the classmate who missed: "Nice try."
- Tell an adult if it keeps happening.
A short, calm upstander comment shows that everyone is respected here.
Hands-on activityKindness footprint
You need: paper, a pencil, coloured pencils and a grown-up.
- Trace your foot on paper. This is your kindness footprint.
- Inside it, write 5 kind actions you could do this week, at least 2 online and 2 in person (for example, a supportive comment on a friend's project, inviting someone to play).
- Do them! Each time, colour in a toe.
- At the end of the week, talk with your grown-up: how did others react? How did you feel?
What to look for: actions that are specific (who, what) and include both online and in-person kindness.
Your turn
1Name the four things our actions can affect.
Feelings, self-concept, mental health and emotional well-being, and reputation.
2What is a digital footprint?
The trail of information you leave online: posts, comments, photos, likes and messages.
3Why can't you always "take back" a post?
Others can screenshot or share it before you delete it, so it can last.
4What does the THINK check stand for?
True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind.
5Why is saying "That's so gay" as an insult hurtful?
It's homophobic. It uses who people are as an insult and tells gay people and their families that something about them is bad.
6Give one example of a supportive action online.
Any one: a kind comment, congratulating someone, defending someone from mean comments, inviting someone into a group chat, not sharing a rumour.
7How can your actions affect your own reputation?
If you're kind, people trust and respect you; if you're mean, people may trust you less.
More practice: warm-up
1True or false: if it's "just a joke", it can't hurt anyone.
False. Jokes can still hurt.
How a person sees and thinks about themselves.
What other people think of you.
4Should you post a photo of a friend without asking?
5Name one kind thing to say to a classmate who made a mistake.
Any kind phrase: "Nice try!", "You'll get it next time", "Everyone makes mistakes."
More practice: on your own
1Mia is left out of a group chat for weeks. How might this affect her mental health?
She might feel lonely, sad or anxious, worry about what others are saying, and not want to go to school.
2A rumour about Omar spreads. How does this affect his reputation? What can you do?
Others may believe something untrue about him. Don't pass it on, say "That might not be true," support Omar, and tell an adult if it continues.
3Write an upstander response to someone mocking a classmate's accent.
Answers will vary. Example: "Not cool. Lots of people speak more than one language. That's amazing." Then support the classmate and tell an adult if it continues.
4Why can kind actions improve the self-concept of the person doing them?
Being kind helps you see yourself as a good, caring person, which feels good and builds confidence.
5Your friend posted something mean and now regrets it. What steps can they take?
Delete it, apologize sincerely (ideally in person), ask others not to share it, and get an adult's help if it has spread.
Challenge
1Explain how one hurtful comment could affect a person in all four areas. Use an example.
Answers will vary. Example: someone calls Leo "useless" in front of the team. Feelings: embarrassed. Self-concept: starts thinking he's bad at sports. Mental health: worries before every practice. Reputation: teammates stop passing to him.
2Why might people say hurtful things online that they wouldn't say face to face? What could help?
Answers will vary. They can't see the other person's face and reaction, they may feel hidden, or they may want likes. Helpful: imagine saying it to their face, use the THINK check, take a break before posting.
3Plan a class idea that helps everyone feel respected, including students who are gay or have gay family members.
Answers will vary. Examples: a class agreement against using identities as insults; posters showing many kinds of families; reading books with diverse families; practising upstander phrases. Ideas should be respectful and include everyone.
Quiz
1. Which is part of your digital footprint?
3. Using "gay" as an insult is...
4. Which action supports someone's reputation?
5. The "K" in the THINK check stands for...
6. After you delete a post...
Big idea: This lesson covers the Grade 5 expectation to explain how a person's actions, either in person or online, including making homophobic or other hurtful comments, can affect their own and others' feelings, self-concept, mental health and emotional well-being, and reputation (D3.2).
About this content: The curriculum names homophobic comments specifically. The lesson explains in simple terms why using "gay" as an insult is hurtful, and teaches respect for everyone. It does not discuss sexual activity. Families with questions about how this is taught can talk with their child's teacher.
How to help at home:
- Talk about a time someone's words helped or hurt you.
- If your child uses social media or games with chat, look at their settings and posts together.
- Practise short upstander phrases.
Common difficulties: "It was just a joke" thinking; not realizing that screenshots last; underestimating how being left out affects mental health.
This lesson builds healthy relationships and empathy (A1.4) and self-awareness and a sense of identity (A1.5).