D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

Being a Good Friend: Helping Others and Fighting Mental Health Stigma

D2.6 D3.4 A1.4 A1.2About 40 minutes

Learning goals

I can explain how I can help a friend who may need mental health support, and the limits of my role.
I can explain what stigma is and how attitudes about mental health affect people.
I can use respectful words about mental health.

Words to know

stigma
Negative attitudes or unfair beliefs about a group of people, like people with mental illness. Stigma can stop people from getting help.

mental illness
A health condition that affects how a person thinks, feels or acts. It can be treated, and people can get better or manage it.

attitude
The way a person thinks and feels about something.

limits of my role
The things that are not my job, like fixing someone's problems or keeping unsafe secrets.

empathy
Understanding and caring about how someone else feels.

Be a lifeguard, not a hero

Lifeguards are trained to help, but even lifeguards don't jump in alone for every problem. They call for backup. When a friend is struggling with their mental health, you can be a great friend. You can also call for backup: a trusted adult. Today you'll learn what your role is, where it stops, and how attitudes about mental health can help or hurt.

Remember from Grade 4

You learned that everyone has mental health, and that everyday choices like sleep, activity and time with people help it. Last lesson you learned signs that someone may need more support. Now you'll learn how to help them.

My role: what I CAN do	The limits: what is NOT my job
Listen without judging	Fix all their problems
Say "I'm here for you" and include them	Be their only support
Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult	Keep a secret if they're unsafe or might be hurt
Offer to go with them to an adult	Give medical advice or diagnose them
Tell an adult if I'm worried about their safety	Handle a crisis by myself
Check in later and keep being a friend	Feel guilty if I can't make them feel better
Take care of my own feelings too	Ignore my own needs

Your role in helping a friend, and the limits of your role.

You can listen and encourage, but you don't have to fix everything. Your job is to help your friend reach a trusted adult, who can get extra help.

What is stigma?

Stigma is when people have negative attitudes or unfair beliefs about a group. Mental health stigma sounds like:

"He's just being dramatic."
"She's crazy."
"Only weak people need help."

Stigma can make people feel ashamed and afraid to ask for help. That can make their problems last longer.

The truth: a mental illness is a health condition, like asthma or diabetes. It's nobody's fault. People can get help, get better or learn to manage it, and live full lives.

A mental illness is a health condition, just like asthma. Treating it that way helps stop stigma.

Stigma words to avoid	Respectful words to use instead
"crazy", "psycho", "nuts"	"having a hard time", "living with a mental illness"
"Just get over it."	"That sounds hard. Want to talk?"
"I'm so OCD" (meaning "I'm neat")	"I like things organized."
"Only weak people need help."	"Asking for help is brave."

Our words show our attitudes.

Attitudes that prevent stigma

Treat mental health like physical health: everyone has it, and anyone can need help.
Listen and believe people when they share.
Don't use mental health words as insults or jokes.
Speak up kindly when someone uses stigma words.
Remember: getting help is a sign of strength.

Worked example

Let's help a friend the right way

Lily tells you she's been feeling really anxious and can't sleep. She says, "Don't tell anyone."

Listen: "Thanks for telling me. That sounds really hard."
Don't judge or fix: don't say "Just stop worrying."
Encourage an adult: "Have you told your mom or the school counsellor? They can help in ways I can't."
Offer to go with her: "I can come with you."
Know the limit: if she seems unsafe or it isn't getting better, you tell an adult even though she asked you not to. You can tell her: "I care about you too much to keep this secret."

You listen, encourage her to get adult help, and tell an adult if you're worried. You don't have to fix it yourself.

Worked example

Let's change an attitude

In the lunchroom, a student says, "Did you hear Raj has to see a counsellor? He must be crazy."

Spot the stigma: "crazy" is a hurtful word, and it suggests getting help is bad.
Respond calmly: "Seeing a counsellor is like seeing a doctor. Lots of people do it. It's smart."
Think about Raj: if he heard this, he might feel ashamed and stop going.
Support: be friendly to Raj, and don't spread the story.

A calm comment can change an attitude and help stop stigma.

Hands-on activity

Kindness scripts and self-care

You need: paper, a pencil and a grown-up.

Write three things you could say to a friend who seems down (for example, "I've noticed you seem quiet. Want to talk?").
Write one thing you could say to encourage them to talk to an adult.
With your grown-up, role-play one conversation: one of you is the friend, the other is the helper.
Helping others can be heavy. Write two things you do to take care of yourself after a hard conversation.
Make a mini poster: "Asking for help is brave."

What to look for: caring, non-judgemental words, a clear plan to involve an adult, and self-care ideas.

Your turn

Name three things you CAN do to help a friend who is struggling.

Name two things that are not your job.

What is stigma?

How can stigma hurt people?

Give a respectful replacement for "She's crazy."

Is mental illness someone's fault?

Why should you take care of yourself when helping others?

More practice: warm-up

True or false: you should keep a secret if a friend might be unsafe.

Is asking for help weak or brave?

Can people with a mental illness get better or manage it?

What does empathy mean?

Name one adult a friend could talk to at school.

More practice: on your own

Why is it a problem to say "I'm so OCD" when you mean you like things tidy?

Your friend wants you to be the only one they talk to about their sadness. How do you respond?

How is mental illness like a physical illness?

How can your attitude help prevent stigma in your class?

After helping a friend through a hard time, you feel worried and tired. What can you do?

Challenge

Explain why telling an adult is part of being a good friend, even if your friend is upset with you at first.

Design a class campaign to reduce mental health stigma. Name three actions.

Compare these two responses to a friend who says "I'm always worried." A: "Just stop worrying." B: "That sounds hard. Have you talked to anyone? I can come with you to the counsellor." Which is better and why?

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which is part of your role in helping a friend?

Stigma is...

Which statement is true?

Which words help prevent stigma?

Stigma can stop people from...

If you're worried a friend is unsafe, you should...

For parents and teachers

Big idea: This lesson covers two Grade 5 mental health literacy expectations: demonstrate an understanding of their role, and the limits of their role, in helping others who may need mental health support (D2.6), and demonstrate an understanding of how attitudes about mental health affect those around us, and how those attitudes might contribute to or prevent stigma (D3.4).

How to help at home:

Use respectful language about mental health yourself, and gently correct slang like "crazy" or "so OCD".
Make it clear: "If a friend tells you something worrying, you can always tell me. That's being a good friend."
Check in on your child if they've been supporting a friend; helping can be heavy.

Common difficulties: feeling that telling an adult is betrayal; taking on too much responsibility for a friend; using mental health words casually.

Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868, or text CONNECT to 686868) is available any time for children and teens.

This lesson builds healthy relationships and empathy (A1.4) and coping and help-seeking (A1.2).