D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

Respect and Consent: Making Decisions for Healthier Relationships

D2.6 A1.1 A1.4 A1.5 A1.6About 45 minutes

Learning goals

I can explain what consent means and why it matters in all relationships.
I can ask for consent, give or refuse it clearly, and respect other people's answers.
I can make informed decisions that show respect for myself and others, in person and online.

Words to know

consent
Giving permission freely for something to happen. Consent must be clear, can be taken back at any time, and can't be given under pressure.

boundary
A limit you set about what you are comfortable with, for your body, your belongings, your feelings or your information.

respect
Treating people, their feelings, their bodies and their choices as important.

healthy relationship
A relationship where people are respectful, honest, kind, equal and feel safe.

pressure
Trying to make someone do something they don't want to do, for example by begging, teasing or threatening.

Whose choice is it?

Can your friend borrow your hoodie? Can your cousin post a video of you dancing? Can your teammate hug you after a goal? In each case, you get to decide, because it's your stuff, your image, your body. And when it's someone else's, they get to decide. That's consent. Today you'll learn how consent and respect help build healthy relationships with friends, family, teammates and, later in life, partners.

Remember from earlier grades

In Grade 4 and Grade 5 you learned that non-consensual behaviour (like sharing a photo without permission) is never okay, and that you can tell a trusted adult. This year you'll learn what consent looks and sounds like, and how to make decisions that show respect for yourself and others.

What consent looks like

Consent is:

Freely given: no pressure, tricks or threats. A "yes" after begging or threats isn't real consent.
Clear: a real "yes." Silence, a shrug, or "I guess" is not a yes. If you're not sure, ask.
Changeable: a person can change their mind at any time, even after saying yes.
Specific: saying yes to one thing (a high five) doesn't mean yes to something else (a hug), and yes to a photo doesn't mean yes to posting it.

Consent applies to bodies (hugs, tickling, wrestling), belongings, photos and videos, and information (like sharing someone's secret or private message).

Consent has four parts. If any one is missing, it isn't consent.

Healthy relationship signs	Unhealthy relationship signs
Respecting each other's boundaries and "no"	Pressuring, begging or making fun of someone's "no"
Asking before touching, borrowing or posting	Posting or sharing things without asking
Honesty and trust	Lying, keeping secrets that feel wrong
Feeling safe to be yourself	Feeling scared, controlled or put down
Both people's ideas and feelings matter equally	One person always decides or gets their way
Having other friends too	Being told who you can and can't talk to

Signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships, in friendships, families, teams and later relationships.

Consent words

Asking: "Can I...?" "Is it okay if...?" "Do you want to...?"

Giving consent: "Yes!" "Sure, go ahead."

Saying no: "No thanks." "I'm not comfortable with that." "Please stop." "I changed my mind."

Respecting a no: "Okay, no problem." (And then stop: no asking again and again.)

Ask, listen, respect. Anything that isn't a clear, free yes gets treated as a no, with no asking again and again.

Consent online

Ask before taking or posting a photo or video of someone, or tagging them.
Don't forward screenshots or private messages without permission.
If someone asks you to delete a photo of them, delete it.
Never ask for or send nude or sexual photos. It is against the law in Canada to share sexual images of anyone under 18, and once shared they can't be taken back. If anyone asks you for one, or you receive one, tell a trusted adult. You won't be in trouble for telling.

Worked example

Let's use consent in a friendship

At a sleepover, Hannah films Mia singing in pyjamas and wants to post it. Mia laughs but says, "Ugh, I look so weird."

Is there consent? Mia laughed, but she didn't say yes to posting, and she seemed uncomfortable. Laughing isn't a yes.
Ask clearly: Hannah asks, "Can I post this?"
Mia's answer: "Please don't. Can you delete it?"
Respect it: Hannah says, "Okay," and deletes it. No teasing, no "just one story."
Result: Mia trusts Hannah more. Respecting a no strengthens a friendship.

If you're not sure, ask. And when the answer is no, accept it.

Worked example

Let's respect your own boundaries

Arjun's uncle always tickles him even after Arjun says stop. Arjun feels uncomfortable but doesn't want to be rude.

Arjun's body, Arjun's choice. It's okay to say no, even to a relative and even if they mean it as fun.
Say it clearly: "Please stop. I don't like being tickled."
If it keeps happening: tell a parent or another trusted adult, who can help.
Remember: setting a boundary isn't rude. It's respect for yourself.

You have the right to set boundaries, and others should respect them.

Hands-on activity

Consent role-play cards

You need: a family member and some paper slips.

Write these situations on slips: borrowing a phone charger; hugging a friend who is upset; posting a group photo; reading someone's diary; joining a game of tag; tickling a little sibling; sharing a friend's secret.
Take turns picking a slip. Act it out: ask for consent, then have your partner sometimes say yes, sometimes no, and sometimes change their mind partway through.
Practise respecting each answer with "Okay!" and moving on.

What to look for: clear asking, clear answers, and respecting a no without arguing. Talk about how it felt to hear no, and to say it.

Your turn

What is consent?

Is silence a yes?

Can a person change their mind after saying yes?

Name two things consent applies to besides bodies.

Name two signs of a healthy relationship.

Someone says no when you ask to borrow their bike. What should you say?

What should you do if someone asks you to send a nude or sexual photo?

More practice: warm-up

True or false: "I guess" is a clear yes.

True or false: saying no to a hug from a relative is rude.

What is a boundary?

Should you post a group photo without asking everyone?

Is begging someone until they say yes real consent?

More practice: on your own

Explain why consent to one thing isn't consent to everything. Give an example.

Your friend always decides what you play and gets mad if you suggest something else. Is this healthy? What could you do?

How does asking for consent show respect for others?

How does setting boundaries show respect for yourself?

A friend shows you a screenshot of someone else's private message to make fun of it. What could you do?

Challenge

Someone says, "She didn't say no, so it's fine." Explain what's wrong with this thinking.

Why might someone find it hard to say no, and what could make it easier?

Describe a healthy friendship using at least four signs from the lesson.

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which is a clear sign of consent?

If someone says yes, then changes their mind, you should...

Which is a sign of a healthy relationship?

Before posting a photo of a friend, you should...

A boundary is...

If someone asks you for a nude photo, you should...

For parents and teachers

Big idea: This lesson covers the Grade 6 expectation to make informed decisions that demonstrate respect for themselves and others and an understanding of the concept of consent to help build healthier relationships, using a variety of social-emotional learning skills (D2.6). It builds emotion skills (A1.1), relationship skills (A1.4), identity (A1.5) and decision making (A1.6).

About this content: This lesson is part of Ontario's human development and sexual health expectations for Grade 6. In Ontario, parents may request that their child be exempted (opted out) of human development and sexual health instruction at school; ask your school about its process. If your family has opted out, you may skip this lesson at home too, or teach the topic in your own way and in line with your family's values.

In this lesson, consent is taught in everyday contexts: hugs, tickling, belongings, photos and online sharing. It does not describe sexual activity. It states that sharing sexual images of anyone under 18 is illegal, so children know to refuse and tell an adult.

How to help at home:

Let your child say no to hugs or tickling from relatives; offer alternatives like a wave or high five.
Ask before posting photos of your child. This models consent.
Make sure your child knows they won't be punished for telling you about something that happened online.
Cybertip.ca is Canada's tip line for reporting online sexual exploitation of children; NeedHelpNow.ca helps young people get sexual images of themselves removed from the internet.

Common difficulties: thinking silence or "not saying no" counts as yes; feeling that saying no to adults is rude.