D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

Puberty: Changes in My Body, Feelings and Friendships

D1.5 A1.1 A1.5About 45 minutes

Learning goals

I can explain what puberty is and that it starts at different times for different people.
I can describe the physical changes that happen at puberty, such as growth of body hair, breast development, changes in voice and body size, body odour and skin changes.
I can describe emotional and social changes that may come with puberty, and name ways to cope and people who can help.

Words to know

puberty
The time when a child's body starts changing into an adult's body. It usually happens sometime between about ages 8 and 14.

hormones
Chemical messengers made by the body. During puberty, hormones tell the body to start changing.

growth spurt
A time of growing taller and bigger quickly.

body odour
The smell that comes from sweat when it mixes with bacteria on the skin.

acne
Pimples that can appear when skin makes more oil.

self-conscious
Feeling worried about how you look or what others think of you.

emotions
Feelings, like happy, sad, worried, angry or excited.

Growing up is a journey

You've been growing since the day you were born. You learned to walk, to talk, to read. Soon, or maybe already, your body will start a new stage of growing called puberty. It's a normal, healthy part of life that every person goes through. Knowing what to expect makes it a lot less confusing! Some of these words might feel a little awkward to say at first. That's okay. These are the correct, scientific words, and they're nothing to be embarrassed about.

What is puberty?

Puberty is the time when a child's body starts changing into an adult's body. It's started by hormones, chemical messengers that tell different parts of your body to begin changing.

Puberty usually starts sometime between about ages 8 and 14. Changes happen slowly, over several years. Everyone has their own timing. Starting earlier or later than your friends is normal.

Three friends, three different starting times. Sam starts at 9, Jo at 11 and Ari at 13. All are normal.

Physical changes at puberty

Changes that happen to everyone:

Growth spurt: you grow taller and bigger, sometimes quickly. Feet and hands may grow first!
Body hair: hair starts to grow under the arms and in the pubic area (around the genitals), and hair on the arms and legs may get darker.
More sweat and body odour: sweat glands become more active, especially under the arms, so bodies start to smell more.
Skin changes: skin and hair can get oilier, and pimples (acne) may appear on the face, back or chest.
Voice changes: voices get a little deeper.

Changes that happen mostly in girls:

Breast development: breasts begin to grow. One may grow faster than the other at first; that's normal.
Body shape: hips get wider and the body gets curvier.

Changes that happen mostly in boys:

Voice: the voice gets much deeper. It may "crack" (suddenly go high or low) for a while.
Body shape: shoulders get broader and muscles get bigger.
Facial hair: hair starts to grow on the face.

Every body is on its own schedule

There is no "right" time or "right" way to go through puberty. Some people grow tall early; others grow later. Comparing yourself to friends isn't helpful, because everybody's timing is different and all of it is normal. If you have questions about your own body, a parent, caregiver or doctor can help.

Emotional and social changes

Puberty doesn't only change your body. Hormones and all these changes can affect your feelings and friendships too. You might notice:

Mood swings: feeling happy one minute and grumpy or teary the next.
Feeling self-conscious or embarrassed about how your body looks or smells.
Worrying about being earlier or later than friends.
Wanting more privacy, like changing alone or closing the bathroom door.
Friendships changing: friends may grow apart or new friends may come along.
New feelings, like having a crush: really liking someone and wanting to be around them.

All of these feelings are normal.

Ways to cope

Name your feelings: "I feel embarrassed" or "I feel moody today." Naming a feeling helps you manage it.
Talk to a trusted adult: a parent, caregiver, doctor, school nurse or teacher. Questions are welcome!
Get your information from good sources: trusted adults, your doctor, and books made for kids your age. Not everything online or that friends say is true.
Take care of your body: sleep, healthy food, being active and keeping clean (more about that next lesson).
Be kind: never tease anyone about their body or how they are changing. That's bullying. Respect other people's privacy too.

Worked example

Let's sort the changes

Sort these into physical or emotional/social changes of puberty: growing taller, wanting more privacy, voice getting deeper, feeling self-conscious, pimples, having a crush.

Ask: is it a change in the body? Growing taller, voice getting deeper and pimples are physical.
Ask: is it a change in feelings or relationships? Wanting privacy, feeling self-conscious and having a crush are emotional/social.

Physical: growing taller, voice getting deeper, pimples. Emotional/social: wanting more privacy, feeling self-conscious, having a crush.

Puberty brings changes to the body and to feelings and friendships. Both kinds are normal.

Worked example

Let's help a friend

Mateo's voice cracked during a class presentation and some kids laughed. He feels embarrassed and doesn't want to speak again. What could help?

Name the feeling: Mateo feels embarrassed and maybe self-conscious.
Facts help: a cracking voice is a normal part of puberty. It's temporary.
As a friend: you could say, "That happens to lots of people. Your presentation was really good."
Respect: laughing at someone's body changes is unkind. The kids who laughed could apologize.
Mateo could: talk to a trusted adult about how he feels and remind himself it's normal.

Mateo's voice crack is normal. Kind friends, correct facts and talking to a trusted adult help him cope.

Hands-on activity

Question box and feelings chart

You need: a small box or envelope, paper, a pencil and a trusted grown-up.

Write any questions you have about puberty on slips of paper. You don't have to put your name on them. Put them in the box.
At a quiet time, your grown-up reads the questions and answers them with you. If they don't know, you can look it up together in a kids' health book or ask your doctor at your next checkup.
With your grown-up, make a list of people you could talk to about body changes and feelings.
Make a feelings chart for one week. Each evening, draw a face for how you felt that day. At the end of the week, look at it together. Did your feelings go up and down? What helped?

Your turn

What is puberty?

What starts puberty?

About what ages does puberty usually start?

Name four physical changes of puberty.

Name two emotional or social changes that may come with puberty.

Name two people you could ask about puberty.

Is it normal to start puberty earlier or later than your friends?

More practice: warm-up

True or false: puberty happens to everyone.

What are pimples also called?

Is a growth spurt a physical change or an emotional change?

Why does body odour increase at puberty?

Is it okay to tease someone about their changing body?

More practice: on your own

Why might someone feel self-conscious during puberty?

Why is it better to get information about puberty from a trusted adult or doctor than from random websites?

Jade is the tallest in her class and feels awkward. What could you tell her?

Explain why someone might want more privacy during puberty, and how others can respect that.

Your feelings go up and down a lot lately. Name two healthy things you could do.

Challenge

Explain how hormones can affect both the body and feelings during puberty.

Two friends were best friends but now like different things and spend less time together. Is this a normal part of growing up? How could they handle it kindly?

Write a kind message to a younger child who's nervous about puberty.

Check your understanding

Quiz

What is puberty?

What starts puberty?

Which is a physical change of puberty?

Which is an emotional or social change?

Puberty usually starts...

A classmate's voice cracks. What's the kind response?

For parents and teachers

Big idea: This lesson covers the Grade 4 expectation to describe the physical changes that occur at puberty (e.g., growth of body hair, breast development, changes in voice and body size, production of body odour, skin changes) and the emotional and social impacts that may result from these changes (D1.5). The physical changes listed follow the curriculum's examples.

About this content: This lesson is part of Ontario's human development and sexual health expectations. It describes outward body changes and feelings only. It does not cover reproduction or menstruation; in Ontario those topics begin in Grade 5. In Ontario, parents may request an exemption from human development and sexual health instruction at school (ask your school about its process). At home, you decide how much to share. Short, honest, matter-of-fact answers work best, and it's fine to say, "Great question. Let me find out and get back to you." Many families also bring in faith or cultural values; the lesson encourages children to talk with their own trusted adults.

How to help at home:

Use correct terms calmly. Your comfort tells your child the topic is safe to discuss.
Reassure your child that early or late is normal. If puberty seems to start very early (before about age 8 in girls or 9 in boys), or hasn't started by about 13 in girls or 14 in boys, check with your doctor.
Try the anonymous question box; children often ask more in writing.
Make clear that teasing about bodies isn't acceptable at home or school.

Common difficulties: embarrassment and giggling (normal; stay calm), comparing with friends, and misinformation from older kids or online.

This lesson also builds identifying and managing emotions (A1.1) and self-awareness and a sense of identity (A1.5).